Posted in Chronic illness, Thoughts


The colonoscopy didn’t happen. I had to take medication as a bowel prep. I drank 100ml of it (out of 2000ml) and started being violently sick. Now it has to be rescheduled with a different prep medication.

I’m just so fed up of one thing after another going wrong. Everything is making my depression worse. I’m having suicidal thoughts, though I’m not acting on them yet. My doctor has upped my antidepressant and referred me back to a therapist.

Sometimes it seems like the darkness will never end.