Posted in Chronic illness

A difficult christmas

Christmas Day didn’t start well for me. I vomited. But I was still determined to enjoy the day.

I grew up spending every Christmas with my grandparents and this time of year is always a reminder that they aren’t here anymore. This is the first Christmas I didn’t cry over missing them.

Instead I cried over other things.

I opened all my presents and then promptly forgot what I had been given. Caused by a mixture of brain fog and being overwhelmed with how much I had got. My family don’t go way over the top but I get overwhelmed easily.

After being shown again what I had got, I still forgot again.

Then I was shown again. I forgot again and started crying. About my lack of memory.

My sister tried to cheer me up and said ‘people liked their presents though didn’t they?’

My response was ‘I don’t know’.

My memory has really failed me today and I started crying even more. My sister joined in the crying.

My mum came to distract us and I stopped crying. My presents have been put to one side so I can go through them a few more times since I still can’t remember what I’ve got properly. I know I got a new hot water bottle because I’ve been using it. And I know I got a heated blanket because I’ve been using that too. But everything else I got is pretty much a blank. 

Soon after this happened, when I was still feeling emotional, my mum asked who wanted what veg with dinner. Tears welled up again. I want to eat all the veg we have available, even brussel sprouts. But with the undiagnosed mess that’s going on in my digestive system, I just can’t do that.

Other than the vomiting and brain fog, I’ve also had exhaustion from very disturbed sleep, muscle twitches, tingling, my normal constant pain, two episodes on the toilet with my digestive system,  muscle cramps, itching, blurred vision, dizziness and headaches. And it’s only 6pm.

I haven’t written this to complain about having a bad Christmas. I’ve actually had a really good Christmas and enjoyed spending time with my family. I just wanted to remind people that chronic illness doesn’t ever take a day off.



A creative young adult with opinions and health problems

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