Posted in Chronic illness

“How are you?”

It’s a question most of us ask or are asked multiple times a day. Usually there’s a simple “fine, you?” Reply and that’s all that’s needed. 

As a person with chronic illness, this question isn’t so easy to answer. Most people don’t really want to know my honest answer. That I’m actually doing pretty shit. 

But the people I’m closest to- my boyfriend, my sister and my mum. They regularly ask how I am and expect the truth. 

But the truth is hard to hear and I’m never quite sure what answer I should give. Should I be positive and say that I’m doing better than yesterday? What if I’m actually doing worse? What if I’m really struggling to be positive?

I don’t always want a conversation about how I need to stay positive. I don’t always need reminders that it changes everyday and just to try and get through today. I already know that stuff. But that doesn’t stop the pain I’m experiencing right now. And sometimes (a lot of the time) I just don’t want to talk about it.

But if I can’t be honest with them, who am I being honest with? And if I’m not honest with them, how do I expect them to understand when I do need to talk about it?

How did a simple question become so difficult to answer?
This post was inspired by this.

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Author:

A creative young adult with opinions and health problems

2 thoughts on ““How are you?”

  1. I have rheumatoid arthritis and most of the time, I manage the pain very well. But, some days, it’s not easy. I know how you feel. Trying to explain that everything hurts, especially when I don’t look sick, can be frustrating, so I usually just say “i”m fine.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly. Sometimes it’s just easier. But at the same time it annoys me when people assume that I’m doing well and if they say ‘you look like you’re having a good day today’, I usually reply something along the lines of ‘make up can do wonderful things’. Yet saying I’m fine all the time probably makes that situation happen more often.

      Liked by 1 person

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